Dr Rick Hanson, a psychologist with the Great Good Science Centre at Berkeley studies the neuroscience of lasting happiness. He has said that our brains are “like velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones”. We know that the negativity bias of our brains is a relic from our caveman days where analysing the threats and the ‘bad stuff’ at the end of the day was vital for survival. But while the world has moved on, our brains still re-run the bad stuff over and over ad nauseam, usually at the end of day, hoping that we can find some lesson or solution to this ‘never happening again’. We know that the negativity bias of our brain means that we remember the negative experiences in more detail and that we feel like we need to talk about the negative experiences more with our friends and family. It’s important to think about how this can impact our wellbeing and particularly, our friendships.
We often need to make efforts and be intentional about finding what we are grateful for or as I say to the students the ‘moments of sunshine’ in our day and be in that moment. Joy can either come from the anticipation of pleasurable moments, being in the moment and from the recollection of those moments. So we can draw on these moments when we feel upset or challenged in some way. Too often we will let the small moments of happiness and contentment slide away from us unappreciated. I want to be clear that I’m not advocating for positivism at all costs and ignoring problems. We have to acknowledge and validate uncomfortable feelings and work together to problem solve issues. But it’s also important for our mental health and wellbeing to take time to find what we are grateful for in our day and highlight those moments. It could be moments like seeing the sunrise or receiving an unexpected gift of flowers. It’s these little moments that nourish our souls and let us keep trying to work on the tough stuff.
Ms Catherine McKersie, School Counsellor
